Unanswered Questions
by OCDdegrassi
Summary: Percy's not sure if he's dreaming or if he's really been sent back in time, but either way, the younger version of Remus Lupin needs his help. Slash and Time-Travel (see other warnings inside).


**Title:** Unanswered Questions  
><strong>Author:<strong> OCDdegrassi  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> Percy/Remus  
><strong>Rating:<strong> M  
><strong>Warning:<strong> Slash, Time-Travel, Hurt/Comfort, Slightly Graphic Sex, Cross-Gen (technically), Mentions of Murder and Canonical Character Death, Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Alcohol  
><strong>Note:<strong> A few notes before you read:  
>1. There are a lot of warnings for this story, so please read the warnings listed above before reading, and do not read if any of them will be triggering for you.<br>2. This takes place during Percy's 7th year – during "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" – before everyone knew of Sirius' innocence.  
>3. Hopefully the characters are not too OOC… I tried.<br>4. _Italics _are Percy's thoughts, mostly.  
>5. Written for the "Love in Time Challenge".<p>

xxx

Percy's face was red from the tips of his ears to the bottom of his neck. The twins were at it again. They thought it was funny to humiliate him in front of the entire student body. He was head boy, for Merlin's sake, yet they constantly tried (and succeeded) to disrespect him and undermine his authority. This time was no different.

He had been trying to eat his breakfast in peace, when suddenly, a giant pink ball of paint was launched at his head from out of nowhere (the twins' direction) and exploded all over his hair, face and clothes. His glasses fell off and into the bowl of eggs from the impact, and he had to feel around in the various food dishes to find them again as everyone laughed hysterically.

He wished that the twins would leave him alone; just once. They teased everyone, but they seemed to take extra delight in tormenting _him_. It wasn't fair. He already had to deal with it at home, and now he had to deal with it at school too. They were usually punished for their behavior, but it didn't seem to deter them in the slightest; quite the opposite really; and the punishments never truly took the sting out of their teasing.

As Percy left the great hall in embarrassment, he felt someone place a firm hand on his shoulder. He looked around, expecting to see yet another student that wanted to make fun of him, but he was relieved to be met with the concerned face of Professor Lupin.

"Are you alright?" The older man asked sympathetically. He was one of the only people who ever tried to comfort Percy after the twins exploits, and he was the _only one_ who never told him to "lighten up", for which Percy was immensely grateful.

"I'm fine." He told him, trying to sound indifferent, but he had a feeling that he failed from the way Lupin frowned.

"Well, if you ever need to talk, my door is always open," he said, stepping away and giving Percy the choice. Percy nodded his thanks and turned around, continuing to walk away from the site of his humiliation. He appreciated the offer; really, he did; and another time, he would have taken it (and had taken it in the past), but right now, he just wanted to be alone.

The problem was, he didn't know where to go in order to accomplish that. Even the deserted hallways seemed to be occupied by ghosts or nosy portraits when one just wanted a moment of peace and quiet. He didn't realize he was pacing until a shape began to form on the wall next to him. He watched, wide-eyed, as a door appeared. He had read about this: the room of requirements.

As the head boy, he felt it was his duty to investigate anything that may pose a threat to the students. He walked inside importantly, gasping when he saw a huge room, as large as the great hall, filled with various items and artifacts. Some of the stuff looked useless, but there were other things that looked incredibly important or valuable.

He saw something glitter out of the corner of his eyes, and he turned to see a beautiful black stone. It seemed to glow in the dim candlelight that lit the room, and its dark, textured surface reminded Percy of the Black Lake. He felt pulled in by the sight, and he couldn't help himself from picking it up reverently, grasping it in his palm.

Suddenly, the world seemed to be pulled away from him. He felt like he was being sucked backwards, and the room of requirements was turning black. He was spinning, twisting, and flipping, for what seemed like eternity before he landed roughly on a hard surface.

He groaned as his body protested the landing, but it didn't feel like anything was broken, thankfully. He sat up and noticed that the hard surface he landed on was actually a dirt road in the middle of a small, quiet town. It was snowing and dark, and only a few people were walking down the streets, moving as quickly as possible. _The gem must have been a portkey_, he realized in dread.

He stood up and walked around, trying to figure out his exact location. There was an abandoned newspaper lying on a bench nearby, and the title caught his eye. In big, flashing letters, it said, "It's Going to Be a Bright Christmas Without the Dark Lord." _What a strange title_, he mused.

It wasn't Christmas, and the Dark Lord had been gone for nearly 12 years. He picked the paper up to examine it further and gasped when he saw the date. December 25, 1981. He dropped the paper in shock. _No, it can't be_. There was no way. He looked around wildly and saw a woman walking by with several large bags.

"What year is it?" He asked insistently as he ran over to her. She looked at him warily, probably fearing for her safety, but Percy couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.

"1981," she responded briskly, and began to walk away even faster. Percy stood frozen. _That's impossible_. He'd heard of time-travel before, but only with a time-turner. He had never turned anything, so there was no way that the gem was a time-turner device. It simply wasn't logical, and he couldn't wrap his brain around the situation.

_It has to be a dream_, he finally decided. He nodded to himself in satisfaction, deciding that it was indeed a dream, as that was the only explanation that made sense, so there was nothing left to do but wait until he woke up. It was cold out as he made his way aimlessly through the empty streets. The only place still open was a seedy pub, and he was hesitant to go inside until he caught sight of a familiar face.

It was Professor Lupin, only not. Percy was honestly surprised that he had recognized him at all. This Lupin was younger, about 21, and he looked like a complete mess. His clothes were more tattered and dirty than Percy had ever seen them, and his chin was lined with dark stubble as he sat hunched over the bar. From the looks of it, he was drowning his sorrows in Whiskey.

It only took Percy a moment before he pushed the door open and headed inside. He wasn't sure why he was dreaming of Professor Lupin, but he would never find out unless he let everything play out. Aside from that, he couldn't bring himself to leave Lupin alone and looking so sad, on Christmas no-less, if the papers were accurate, even if it was a dream.

Lupin had always been kind to him, and from what Percy had seen of his professor, he was a good man. Something pretty bad must have happened for him to look so depressed. He walked over and sat down on the stool beside Lupin, who didn't even glance his way.

Upon getting closer, Percy noticed the dark circles underneath his younger professor's eyes. He obviously hadn't slept in weeks, and Percy frowned in concern. The bartender looked at him expectantly, and Percy belatedly realized that it would seem strange if he didn't order a drink. Percy mentally tried to recall how much money he had; it wasn't much, but he could order a few drinks.

"One firewhiskey," he said, trying to sound calm since he didn't have any identification on him to prove that he was of age. The bartender didn't seem to care though, probably too annoyed at having to work Christmas night, and he quickly pushed a glass toward Percy. He sipped the drink lightly before attempting a casual conversation with the man next to him.

"So… how are you?" He mentally cringed at his terrible social skills. _Well, that could have gone better_, he berated himself. Lupin finally looked at him, blinking as if trying to understand why Percy was talking to him at all.

"Shitty, and you?" He finally asked, and it took Percy aback for a moment. He had never heard his professor cuss or sound so pessimistic. He was used to the gentle, smiling and supportive Lupin; this was something he wasn't quite sure how to deal with.

"Umm, alright," he finally responded, still feeling at a loss for words. Lupin eyed him incredulously.

"Mate, nobody spends Christmas in a bar if he is alright." Percy cursed himself for not thinking his plan through enough, or even having a plan to begin with.

"Right, well, what are you doing here?" He asked, trying to sound only mildly curious. Lupin was obviously nursing more than his first drink, because he wasn't shy about opening up. Either that or he was too upset to care.

"Well, one of my best mates betrayed our other two friends, causing them to be killed killed by the Dark Lord and leaving their 1-year-old son without his parents, and then he killed our other friend. It's been a bloody fantastic year," he said the last part sarcastically, taking a large gulp from his drink and signaling the bartender to refill it.

Percy's mouth dropped open. His mind was racing as he worked to put all the pieces together. He was talking about the Potters; he had to be, especially given the date. And since Sirius Black was the one who betrayed them, he was obviously the other friend that Lupin was talking about, and Black killed Peter Pettigrew, thus making him the fourth member of the story.

Percy was shocked into silence. He didn't know that Lupin had been friends with any of them. _How awful_, he thought in horror. Losing four friends in such a terrible way and all at once; no wonder Lupin was so depressed and drinking alone on Christmas.

"I'm sorry," he finally said quietly, feeling at a loss for anything to say that would help. There was nothing. Lupin sighed and looked at him regretfully.

"No, I'm sorry to dump all of this onto you. I'm usually much more reserved than this," he said apologetically, and Percy refrained from telling him that he knew that.

"It's alright. If you want to talk, then I'm here to listen," he told him, hoping that Lupin knew that the offer was genuine. He wasn't sure what else to do. He wanted to fix everything, but he knew that there was nothing that could fix this. Lupin seemed to hesitate, obviously wanting to refuse his offer, but he suddenly deflated.

It was as if he had been bottling everything up for too long, possibly since the Potters' murders, and he just couldn't hold it in anymore. He seemed like he needed to talk to someone; anyone. He slumped forward and looked as if he was preparing himself to pour his heart out, which only saddened Percy further. He obviously had no support network left if he was forced to confide in a random stranger at the pub.

"Harry has to grow up without his parents. I can't even honor my friends' memory by taking him in. He has to live with that awful uncle and aunt of his," Lupin said remorsefully, as if it was his fault that Harry had to live with the Dursley's. Percy remembered Ron telling him about how bad the Dursley's were, and he could sympathize with Lupin's guilt, but he also knew that Lupin would find any reason to blame himself at that moment. He was wracked by guilt and regret, and Percy's heart broke for him.

"I don't want to do this anymore," Lupin whispered, more to himself than anyone else, but Percy heard it anyway. He froze, feeling a tremor of fear run through him. He had said the same thing before, and he knew what it meant, but he didn't want to believe that gentle, smart Professor Lupin was considering taking his own life.

"What do you mean?" Percy asked cautiously, needing to be sure that Lupin meant it. After everything that Lupin had been through lately, Percy could completely understand why he would be tired of living, but he was still hoping that he was wrong. Lupin looked up at him, eyes blood-shot from crying, looking so broken and helpless that it took Percy's breath away.

"I don't think I want to be alive anymore; it hurts too much." His voice was soft yet determined, and Percy felt it like a stab to his heart. He didn't know if it was the alcohol that drove Lupin to make the confession or if he was crying out for someone to save him, but either way, Percy suddenly didn't care if this was a dream or not. It seemed too real, and he had to fix it.

"You can't!" he cried out, desperately trying to find some sort of solution to help him. Yet all of his studying and knowledge did him no good in this situation. Remus laughed bitterly.

"Why not? Did I mention that I'm a werewolf too?" At Percy's shocked face, he continued in a self-loathing manner: "I'm a dark creature. I can't even control myself when the full moon comes. I became a monster; capable of killing even my closest friends. It should have been me; not them." His voice gradually got quieter as he spoke until it was almost a whisper, and for what seemed like the 100th time that night, Percy was stunned into silence.

He had no idea that Professor Lupin was a werewolf, but he supposed that it did explain why he was sick so often and seemed to have extra sharp hearing. Percy didn't think it mattered, but he knew that other people (ignorant fools) still looked down upon werewolves, like they were lesser beings, so he understood why Lupin had kept it a secret. He managed to pull himself together enough to respond.

"That doesn't mean that you deserve to die. You can't help that you are a werewolf, and even if you are a monster once a month, you're a good person every other day," he said sincerely. Remus looked at him incredulously.

"How do you know that I'm a good person? We don't even know each other. I could be a Death Eater for all you know," he shot back. Percy had to mentally back-track to keep from spilling the truth about how he knew. If this was a dream, then it wouldn't matter if Percy told him the truth, yet Percy's instincts were screaming that he should keep quiet.

"Because a Death Eater wouldn't be sitting here, wanting to die because he was grieving the loss of his friends so deeply. A Death Eater would be out killing people to get revenge, if he cared at all," he said softly and genuinely, and Remus looked away. He sipped his drink, and Percy decided to press the issue.

"And you can't die, because you need to stay alive to tell Harry about his parents." Remus looked at him inquiringly.

"If his aunt and uncle are as bad as you say, then they aren't likely to tell him anything good about his parents. He's going to need you to tell him all the things that his aunt and uncle won't. One day, he's going to want to know what his parents were like; how he's similar to them; and it's going to be up to you to tell him. He's going to need you to tell him how much he was loved," he finished.

Remus seemed to silently take the statement in, but he appeared to at least be considering it, so Percy took that as a good sign. Remus looked at Percy again, and the raw pain was still shining in his eyes.

"I don't know how to keep going," he whispered honestly, and Percy's heart went out to him. He had never experienced a loss as profound as Lupin's, but his mother had lost both of her brothers, and he remembered what she told him about how she got through it.

"You just have to breathe, and take it one day at a time. Eventually, you'll figure out a way to keep living. But you need to remember that your friends wouldn't want this for you, so honor their memory by staying alive." Lupin seemed lost in thought, and Percy finished off his drink.

"You don't even know me; why are you saying all of this?" Remus finally asked imploringly. Percy wasn't sure how to respond, so he decided to go with the truth.

"Because I care." The simple statement shocked Lupin into silence, and he looked at Percy in wonder. There was devastation in his eyes, yet the slightest hint of gratefulness at Percy's confession, which only broke Percy's heart more. He wondered when the last time was that someone told Lupin they cared about him. He had a feeling that is was before the Potters' deaths. After silence descended upon them for a moment, Lupin held out his hand to Percy.

"I'm Remus," he said, and Percy shook the outstretched hand. It was strange to think of his professor as Remus, but it was certainly more fitting to the man sitting beside him. He wasn't Percy's superior anymore; they were equals; just two people having a conversation. It was nice. It reminded him of the quiet afternoons where the two of them discussed their shared love of literature in Lupin – Remus' - office while sipping tea.

"I'm Percy," he replied as the bartender walked over to them again.

"Sorry guys, but I'm closing up now. You're gonna have to keep moving." Remus sighed in resignation and stood up, but Percy hesitated. He hadn't thought far enough ahead to figure out where he was going to stay that night. He didn't have any money left, and honestly, he had assumed that he would wake up before this predicament occurred. Remus seemed to notice his hesitation.

"Where are you staying tonight?" he asked, and Percy turned red from embarrassment.

"I'm not sure," he mumbled. Remus paused, seeming to consider him for a moment as Percy looked down into his empty glass and cursed himself for being so ill-prepared for his own dream/not-dream.

"You can stay with me," he offered, and Percy's head shot up in surprise as he looked at the other man.

"Wha- why would you let me stay with you? You don't even know me," he said in confusion. Remus shrugged and gave him a small smile.

"Consider it a thank you. If you can care about a random stranger, then so can I," he said matter-of-factly, putting his hands into his pockets. Percy felt guilty about deceiving him, since Remus wasn't a stranger to him, but he couldn't tell him the truth without seeming absolutely insane. Percy had only tried to help Remus because he knew him, but Remus was helping him out of the goodness of his heart. The man really was incredible.

"Besides, it's not like I have much to lose if you are some psychopath who wants to kill me," Remus joked with another small smile, but Percy knew that there was more truth to his statement than he would have liked.

"Thanks," he replied, giving Remus a grin in return to try and keep the mood lighter, which Remus seemed grateful for. They left the pub together, and once they were outside, Remus grabbed Percy's arm to apparate them to his place. Percy's skin tingled from the contact, and he had an odd, fluttering feeling in his stomach, but he attributed that to the jerk of apparating.

They apparated into a dingy apartment. The place was a mess, but Percy couldn't fault him for that; he could understand why Remus hadn't felt much motivation to clean lately. The wallpaper was torn and faded, and the furniture looked well-used and worn down. Remus rubbed his neck sheepishly.

"Sorry for the mess," he said apologetically. Remus hurried to move stacks of newspapers off the couch, all with various headlines about James and Lily Potter, Sirius Black or Peter Pettigrew. Percy felt another pang in his heart, and he gave Remus an empathetic smile.

"It's fine. Thank you for letting me stay here," he said honestly, because it _was_ fine. When everything had been cleared away from the couch, Remus gestured for Percy to sit down. Percy watched as Remus rummaged around in his small kitchen and came back with two glasses and half-empty bottle of whiskey.

"Do you want more?" Remus offered, and Percy agreed, though he didn't have much of a desire to drink, because he had a feeling that Remus didn't want to drink alone anymore. They sat in an awkward silence for a moment, each sipping their drinks and trying to decide what to say next. Something had been on Percy's mind for a while, and he wasn't sure if he should say it, but he felt like he _had_ to.

"It wasn't your fault," he said quietly. Remus paused, his drink half-way to his mouth, before taking a big gulp and staring straight ahead as he spoke.

"I should have known; I should have seen _some_ sign; anything. How could I have missed it?" He shook his head in confusion and repressed anger. There was so much guilt and regret in his voice that Percy instinctively grabbed Remus' hands with his own to show that he was there; that he wasn't going anywhere. Remus looked at their intertwined hands before meeting Percy's gaze, and Percy waited until he had his full attention to speak.

"You couldn't have known; no one else did either. What happened was a terrible tragedy, but you are _not_ to blame, and your friends wouldn't want you to blame yourself either," he said firmly. He kept his gaze locked on Remus' eyes, silently willing Remus to see the truth behind Percy's word. Remus seemed to search Percy's eyes for a moment before his own watered and he broke down, choking back a sob.

The tears began to fall like the dam holding them in had been blown away, and Percy pulled the other man into an embrace without even thinking about it. He held Remus as he cried, whispering soothing words and gently carding his fingers through Remus' hair. It should have felt strange, but instead, it felt oddly comfortable.

Remus had been there for Percy so many times in the future; whenever the twins tormented him or when the stress of his family or fear over his future got to be too much, Remus was always there to offer a comforting presence and a listening ear – understanding and non-judgmental. Now it was Percy's turn to return the favor.

When Remus pulled away, his hazel eyes were bright and shining with tears, looking so broken and vulnerable that Percy found himself mesmerized by the intensity of them. It was one of the saddest yet most beautiful things that Percy had ever seen. Remus slowly leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to Percy's lips before pulling away.

Remus looked down, refusing to meet Percy's gaze in shame, and Percy placed his hand under Remus' chin, pulling the other man's head up to look at him. The look in Remus' eyes was begging for comfort, and Percy just wanted to take all of his pain away. He knew that Remus didn't want to feel alone anymore, and he couldn't deny the other man that relief. He wasn't even sure that he wanted to.

He kissed Remus softly, and the other man melted into it. Remus kissed back desperately, as if he was trying to cling to something so that he wouldn't let go of everything. Remus stood up from the couch, pulling Percy with him, and slowly led the red-head to the bedroom, never letting their lips break contact, as if their kiss was the only lifeline that was keeping him from drowning.

When Remus pulled Percy on top of him once they reached the bed, Percy was slightly surprised by the position, but he realized quickly that Remus just needed someone to take care of him. He made sure to stretch Remus thoroughly and gently, not wanting to add physical hurt on top of the emotional pain that Remus already had, and Remus closed his eyes and breathed deeply as Percy worked him open.

When Percy finally pushed his way inside Remus' hole, he forced himself to move slowly. This was about Remus; it wasn't about love or even sex; it was about helping him to hurt a little less, if only for a moment. Percy kept a slow and gentle pace as he thrust in and out, and Remus pulled the red-head into another needy kiss as their bodies moved together.

Remus' arms were wrapped tightly around Percy's back, and he came with a gasp as his body trembled violently. His hole convulsed around Percy's prick, and Percy felt his own orgasm wash over him. He rested his head against Remus' shoulder, kissing the other man's neck gently, and Remus shivered, tightening his hold on Percy's back.

They stayed in that position for a moment, and the sound of their breathing seemed to fill up the silent room. Percy lifted his head to look at Remus, and the other man was looking at him with an unreadable expression in his eyes. It was a mixture of so many things that Percy couldn't even begin to decipher them. Remus kissed him again, slowly and languidly, as Percy pulled out.

He rolled off Remus to lie beside him on the bed, and both men were silent as they stared at the ceiling, glancing at one another but unsure of what to do next. Percy was never a fan of cuddling, though to be fair, he had only ever slept with one other person, but he also knew that Remus _needed_ to be cuddled tonight.

He rolled to his side, placing his arm around Remus' chest and pulling him towards Percy so that they were face-to-face. He kissed Remus' forehead, and Remus closed his eyes at the gesture. Percy held Remus firmly but gently, tucking his head under Percy's chin so that he was cuddled up against Percy's chest.

"I do care," he whispered softly. Remus didn't respond, but Percy felt him shift closer, and it wasn't long before the other man's breathing evened out. Percy was relieved that Remus was finally getting some much-needed sleep, and he closed his own eyes, his heart feeling a little lighter, as he finally succumbed to sleep.

xxx

When Percy woke up the next morning, he was in his own bed in the Gryffindor dormitories. It took him a moment to realize the implications of that, but when he did, he shot up in bed. _Remus_. His heart was racing, and he jumped out of bed.

He ran all the way to the DADA classroom, still in his pajamas, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from other students, and burst through the door. He felt relief flood through him when he saw Remus sitting at his desk and sipping a cup of tea. Remus stood up when he saw Percy and walked toward him in concern.

"You're okay," Percy breathed out before Remus could say anything.

"Of course I'm okay," the older man replied gently, leaving Percy feeling silly for panicking so much. Remus motioned for Percy to sit down as he poured him a cup of tea, and Percy obliged. _Perhaps it was just a dream_, he thought, though it had certainly felt real. Remus sipped his tea quietly before placing the cup down.

"Sometimes, all a person needs is for someone to care," he continued smoothly, causing Percy to look up at him in shock. His words were sincere, but there was a mischievous twinkle in Remus' eyes that had Percy grinning. _So it wasn't a dream_. Remus smiled back, and they drank their tea in a comfortable silence after that.

Percy was left with a lot of unanswered questions. He still didn't understand what had happened or what was going to happen with them now, but for the first time in his life, he was okay with not knowing.

xxx

**A/N:** Reviews are lovely and appreciated. Flames are not.


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